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Solitude Radical

by One Winded Kid

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1.
I am sitting in a shoebox with the lights of in a fit of restless. In my head it's summer then it's winter. Trees'll splinter: gather tinder: make a fire to keep warm one minute, then it's too hot, then I blister: target misser. Pull the trigger, season kisser. When I'm sleeping I am lucid: flying somewhere, falling listless. In the dead air, interstellar. In the cellar of my being I don't know what's worth believing but I'm still here. But I'm still here. Like the mountains, and mathematics. Ain't it something? How we feel either tragic or better than magic? Dying colors, dying colors, dying colors out my hole of glass I see them wither in the face of staring winter. I'll be buried, they'll be buried. In the snow I feel connected. Then I shiver, coil and slither to the bedrock of my deathbed. But not till I've had my share of calm and collected, and I can go all night, and not wake till the morning. Ready to face my day cause real life can get scorning when you dream this way...but can't ever sleep
2.
control that breathing anxiety sets in distract that sleeping don't stop thinking control control congruent patterns and all that matters setting in with no one to tuck me in
3.
Breathe in breathe out remind yourself that you are without a doubt centered with the seas and stars. Breathe in breathe out remind yourself that you have electric blood coursing through your veins. Breathe in breathe out remind yourself that you will without a doubt heal every crack with that nourishing love just as you have healed the others. Just as you have healed me. Breathe in breathe out feel the universe sway and be as one single force of radiant light. Breathe in breathe out and remind yourself that you are without a doubt made up that same way. I just wanna make you feel better. I just wanna make you feel better.
4.
I wake up uninspired after falling to my death. There's a pumping behind the bones that run across my chest. Yep I'm still alive and in my bed. I turned and lied to no one but the pillow, and myself, that I slept fine. So I sit up kinda bent after turning on my phone to a message from a girl who said it was dumb to "let me go" No. You kissed a guy, then put my hand between your thighs and whispered I would be your one and only. So I hope you're fucking lonely. At least lonelier than me. Don't pardon me I'm unenthused I'm sick and tired of being used when I just try to be as good of a man as my Dad but it's hard cause he's so rad. And I'd like to think I'm going somewhere other than the ground but when there's no one else around that's all I ever think about. Why try to live like it won't happen? Yet I still try and I tried. That's what I told the tile on the shower wall, I said "if we're all towers I'm probably two feet tall." I'm stupid bones decomposing under an ugly pelt- at least that's how I felt when I found out you were fucking someone else. I hope you're disgusted with yourself. But I still hope you're happy, at least happier than me. Don't pardon me I'm unenthused I'm sick and tired of being used when I just try to have as big of a heart as my Mom but it's hard cause she's so bomb. And I'd like to think I'm going somewhere other than the ground but when there's no one else around that's all I ever think about. I gotta live like it won't happen. I've gotta live like it won't happen. I've gotta live like it won't happen. I'll try to live like it won't happen.
5.
6.

about

some songs about my life

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released February 15, 2016

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One Winded Kid Denver, Colorado

this is how i grow

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